Masks we wear in our life

Masks we wear in our life.

Do we really wear masks in our everyday life? What are they? Is it a necessity or hypocrisy?
The majority of professions need you to be someone you are not, to behave as you don’t get used to(40 hours a week you can present a severe mask of police investigator while the rest time you are the funniest and the kindest person in the world). To be a parent also means to play a role: during the process of upbringing, while you feel boundless love to your children, you have to wear mask of a teacher to learn them how to behave, prohibit some things and even punish. Casual politeness and good manners make us wear the mask of friendliness to people especially older than we are or not very familiar. We hide our real emotions, foster some traits we hadn’t before, often we have the perfect image, idol( it can be a famous person)in our heads and try to correspond to it.
Often our appearance helps us to create an image and get the feel of our role faster: clothes, make up, hairstyle. 20 minutes before mirror in the morning and housewife miraculously changes into the strictest solicitor.
But sometimes people wear rather hypocritical masks when they for example pretend to be your friend just to find out some information or just because they see some benefit out of this friendship, etc.
Anyway the thing is not to lose your real face while wearing different masks and not to mix roles and situations, e.g. not to be a teacher at home or all-forgiving mother while managing the big factory. So whether you wear any mask or not - don’t overdo.

Is lying if ever justified?

Actually, most of us start lying in the childhood while saying "I don't know anything, I didn't take sweets from the table" not to be punished or prohibited doing something. So maybe it is one of the traits of human nature. And while we are kids it may look even funny, such tiny obvious lies. But as soon as we grow up and the things to lie about become serious, there occurs the question "Is lying if ever justified?"...
I think sometimes it is. There is a notion called "white lie" when you lie not to hurt one's feelings or not to worry your parents, for example. Another version is lying by omission, when you just hold back something, for example, not telling everything about your property to the person you are hardly familiar with if he/she asks you. The thing is try to predict the consequences of your lying, to imagine the reaction, the feelings of people, whom you lied, if your dishonesty will ever be revealed. Will it really be understood and forgiven?

Some spontaneous thoughts...

I would like to start with a thought ..."mess in my head". I hope everybody, not only me,) had such a feeling when you for example sit down to write a composition and there is no single thought concerning the theme in your head, but there are also cases when you have so many thoughts simultaneously that you can't concentrate and take one to think over it in an appropriate way, they all seem to you important and interesting and they atack your brain with the sound speed. And I can't say which case is better, because in both you have zero results but in the second one you can even have insomnia.) I still can't find the reason, because I didn't notice any connection with whether the theme is difficult/easy or (un)interesting for you. It just happens sometimes. Maybe someone knows the way of putting thoughts in order? Share, be so kind=)

The next thought is... let's call it "dreaming correctly". I don't know whether you heard about it or not, anyway, I will tell you. So, there is a theory that when you dream about something constantly, making the clear visual image of it, thinking that you've already got it, the universe delivers it to you. And you even shouldn't search the ways of getting it, THEY will find you, like sudden promotion, an idea of a new profitable business in your head, new connections, inspiration, whatever. Your part is to concentrate on your dream and always think in a positive way about it, that is the most difficult thing - because we always let in doubts in our heads, like "what if it won't...?" and these fears not to succeed transfer our dreams to the starting point and raise the probability of failure.
You surely heard the statement "our thoughts are material", so, I believe it's true in a way, whether you fear something or desire something strongly - you attract it and the more you think about it the more it is likely to happen. I remembered the case when I failed my exam in history on the first course when I didn't know the single question out of 24 and I got it because I thought "Not only 24th" before the exam while the right way was to think about the favourite 15th question and imagine how I get the list from the table, turn it over and here it is - number15! Hope you will practise dreaming and get what you want, putting aside all your fears and doubts. Just remember and believe- dreams come true, BUT be careful and provident while making them...

The aim justifies the means

This statement means that you can use bad or immoral methods as long as you accomplish something good by using them. There are some other similar interpretations, as “I shall do a minor evil to achieve a greater good” or “My aim for greater good makes all the evils I have done right”. Is that really right to resort to any means in chase of your goal?
To be honest, it is much easier to prove the fact that it is not. We can see examples confirming that the aim does not justify the means all around us, such as crimes, when the original aim has seemed to the accused a good one; numerous situations where with the help of constant lies the person gets what he/she wants. Globally thinking– there are many examples in present politics, in history, just remember bloody merciless wars, where the lives of innocent people played the part of means or acts of terrorism, which carry out the most heinous acts in the name of some imaginary ideal.
Actually, concerning life situations, you should think twice before using some doubtful aims. First of all, from the point of view of the legality of your actions and, also, you should not forget that you will have to live till the end of time knowing how you get your aim, because to be conscience-stricken is much worse than to have some freedom restrictions. But, in fact, here everything depends on a person: his/her moralities, honesty, consciousness, upbringing, ability to analyze, etc. Some people can even step over their friends, relatives and feel absolutely normal afterwards while others after hurting anybody accidentally feel guilty and sorry for a long time.
We can also look at this statement from different point of view. In the cases, when the aim concerns a lot of people, the results can’t be equally good for everybody, take the situation when builders cut down trees in order to construct the wider road. The trick is to try to aim for the best possible result that does the most good for the greatest number of involved parties, and the least damage. To find out the results, you should add up all the factors and hopefully you’ll end up with more positive than negative, if you did well. Some people will only include their own accounts in the calculations, and will ignore or leave out all costs accrued to others. But the result consists of all effects and side-effects, including those created along the way, not just your received advantages. So, if you've ended up with more good than bad, it might be worth it. This is the case where the aim justifies the means.
As for me, I would never step over anybody or do any crime to reach my objective. I don’t think that the aim always justifies the means. We should always think about the consequences of our actions, trying to predict them and not to be selfish, always remember that there are people around us and we should treat them as we would like to be treated.

Family values

Family values – we can often hear this notion in our everyday life but do we really think about its content and significance? What does this notion include? Is there a decline in family values in modern world as the representatives of the older generation often say?
Family values can be defined as a traditional set of social standards, beliefs and morals defined by the family and a history of customs that provide the emotional basis for raising a family. It boils down to the philosophy of how you want to live your family life. Things such as how you view marriage, commitment and childbearing, what role religion plays in your family, how emotionally available you are to others, your beliefs about sharing responsibility, the common interests shared by your spouse and family, shared activities and hobbies, how family time is spent, how family decisions are made, how family traditions are established, and so on are included. Your family values definition consists of ideas passed down from generation to generation, giving children the structure and boundaries in which to function and thrive.
Traditionally people define their values as stating that the family comes first, yet they find themselves with very little time or energy left over for spending time with the family. Unfortunately, as we can see in modern world, money, career, property can become the reason of the loss of the family values and morals at all. We can observe it, for example, through the increasing number of divorces, since marriage became a widespread means of getting money. Fortunately for the wealthy people, such tendency has acquired the retaliatory measure – a marriage settlement. What concerns the constant talks of the older generation about the vanishing of family values, we can find one more obvious reason, grounding their position. The explanation is quit simple: with freedom of speech and of the press after the disintegration of the USSR such things as abortion, pornography, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, cohabitation, etc became visible, things, which always existed, but never were shown and allowed to be spoken about.
In my opinion, family values still play the paramount part in people’s lives, because neither property nor brilliant career make us happy, but close people, children, good relations, mutual understanding, love. And concerning divorces – all we can mistake and have another chance, still it sounds better than live all your life with a person who you can’t withstand, just because the society demands it.

If you are to set up your own business, what kind would it be and why?
Actually, when I think of my own business I imagine some kind of hotel or another idea - luxurious jewellery boutique. But these are only dream-projects, because of absence of start up capital mostly. I don’t even know what is easier to establish in our city… both variants demand great connections and enormous sums of money.
Concerning the hotel it would be not actually a hotel but some kind of country guest house with restaurant, children playground and some activities offered, like walking paths, equipped barbecue places, fishing, canoeing, paintball, horse riding, bicycle renting, skiing(wintertime) etc. It would be a nice holiday-resort for families. I think it should be profitable, because we haven’t got such a place in our region, at least I haven’t ever heard about it. I’ve been at such place in Lithuania, maybe there are not so many activities there, but it’s really worth visiting; by the way, there is also a small brewery there.
And concerning the jewellery shop, it should be something new, original, maybe some particular designer’s items. But in fact, I don’t think it would be profitable and would exist more than half a year. There are not so many people in our city who can allow themselves so expensive jewelleries, and there’re too many shops already existing.

When I came out of the house in the morning today, I spotted that...
I've forgotten the keys of my car, so I had to return, when I came home I've noticed my english book and understood that I've forgotten it too, then my mum asked me if I had taken some money to pay for the repair of my shoes and again, I hadn't. So I got the money, and the shoes, and the book, and even didn't forget to show my tongue to the mirror(cause it's a bad sign to return). So, glad in knowing that now I'll succeed, I went downstairs to my car, opened my bag to get keys and "Oh, no! The keys!"

I think this man has no desease to suffer from but reach imagination and high-developed sence of pity for himself. Looking through the list with deseases he immediatelly found all the symptoms in himself, he even found one illness he was born with, so he probably was analising everything from his childhood. The is one proverb "If the person is seeking for something very hard, he'll find it sooner or later, no doubt", so he found a lot=). I think he just need to take it easy and not to read such books.
As for me, actually, I don't read medical literature, I'm not watching "Malahov +". I can't remember when last time I 've been at my physician. If I catch a cold or if I have headache I can overcome it by myself. And actually, I believe that if we are afraid of some deseases or imagine we have them, we' ll have them for sure. I've never prescribed any symptoms to me.

Is sex for the sake of really good sex with no relationship commitment possible? And what`s your attitude to it?
Is platonic love the same kind of feeling and relations as freindship or is it different?

mmm...really tricky theme for discussion. I think wether to chose just sex or something more is quite individual thing, the choice of each and every person. Of course sex for the sake of sex is possible, moreover many people now prefer such relationsips avoiding any responsibilities and consequences. As for me, maybe I'm a bit conservative concerning this question, but I still think that just sex make no sence, it's a kind of moment pleasure, nothing more. For me it makes no sence without relationships, some kind of personal attitude to the person. For me pleasure of my soul is much more important than pleasure for my body.
As for platonic love it is something more than just friendship, cause the latter can appear on the ground of some common interest or something but platonic love need some kind of passion.

The book which taught me a lot.

I would like to tell you about the book I’ve read when I was about 14, then I was rarely reading anything besides school programme, and maybe that’s the reason why it impressed me a lot. It was something different and exciting for me, like a breath of fresh air. Since that time I’ve started to read for pleasure. It was a novel by Paolo Coelho “Veronika Decides to Die”. That time it seemed to me much more interesting than boring and not actual classical literature.
This story tells us about a woman, Veronika, who seems to have everything she could wish. She is young and pretty, has plenty of boyfriends, goes dancing, has a steady job, a loving family. Yet Veronika is not happy; something is missing in her life and she decides to commit suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. This fails and she wakes up in Villette, a mental hospital. A psychiatrist tells her that she has damaged her heart and has only a few days to live… But only in the end of the book the author shows his hand: it turned out that head psychiatrist attempts an experiment. He made Veronika want to live by convincing her that death is imminent.
We follow Veronika through these concentrated days when she begins to come alive and become interested in the patients who share her life. She then realizes why her former life had no meaning. During her internment in Villete she understands that she has nothing to lose and can therefore do what she wants, say what she wants and be who she wants without having to worry about what others think of her; as a madwoman, she is unlikely to be criticized. Because of this newfound freedom Veronica at last feels hatred, fear, curiosity, and even love- all the things she never allowed herself. Veronika's experiences lead her gradually to realize that every second of existence is a choice that we all make between living and dying. This book reminds us that every moment of our lives is very precious and should be lived to the full.
This book is a kind of optimistic one and life-asserting. It reminds us that we have only one life, we shouldn’t be afraid to feel free in it, we shouldn’t watch from the sidelines on it. We should live every day, every minute, appreciate the world around us, because it is so huge and always has a pile of new things to experience, many interesting people to meet, a lot of incredible adventures and untested feelings. One more thing that came to my mind, I don’t remember who said this but, anyway, it seems appropriate for this novel: “All people die but not all of them live”.

Theodore Dreiser "An American Tragedy"
The main character, Clyde, turned out to be in a very difficult situation, he just couldn't find the right solution. He was in hopeless desperation at that moment and this dream showed him that he has no way to escape and every decision to go forward or turn back will be fatal for himself.
Actually, I believe that some people have such a flair to dream prophetically. But that's not about me. I dream rarely and usually it's doesn't make any sense. It can be situations which already took place or something I was thinking about before going to sleep. But sometimes I notice the situations called dejavu, when you the situation or just some details seems very familiar to you as you've already been there and feel it. Who knows, maybe I've been dreaming about it...

What do you think about punishment in upbringing?
Should we punish children? Is it fair? What consequences can follow? Is it possible to substitute punishment with something?
Everybody has been punished in childhood, the difference is only in the ways of punishment: somebody stood in the corner, somebody couldn’t eat sweets or play with friends for a while(that’s my case), somebody was strapped. The severity of it depended on the seriousness of the affair, parents` principles and sometimes their nervousness/state of mind.
I think that punishment is an inseparable part of upbringing, but it should be well thought-out, not to bring any harm to the child. It should be a lesson, but not the cruel one, it shouldn’t effect both his/her physical or psychic state. Punishment always should be fair, otherwise, it can lead to still worse affairs. Upbringing is rather delicate process, such punishments as one depicted in “Jane Ayer” can leave unforgettable fears in person’s mind for the whole life. So, adults should be very careful, thinking of possible punishments for their children and never to forget that they are only kids, they just learn how to behave.

Music pieces
Among offered three pieces of music I like the first one more; it corresponds to my inner state now. It is quite, clear, light and heart-warming. It doesn’t irritate, it is a nice piece to relax during listening. I can imagine sunny morning, when you are still in bed, but you already feel warm, tender spring sunrays playing on your face, you can hear long-expected birds` singing and it is a pleasure to open your eyes and meet this wonderful day.
If I go to a deserted island I’d probably take two rather different pieces of music. One would be energetic, that’d help me to wake up in the morning, feel active and be positive. Right now it is the song by Lady Gaga “Just Dance”. Unfortunately I become bored too fast with this kind of music, so after my imprisonment I would hate this song till the end of time, I suppose. And the second piece would be lyric, calm, relaxing, a bit romantic maybe. With this kind of music I’m more constant, so it is quite difficult to choose one, perhaps “Strangers in the night” by Frank Sinatra or “Fragile” or “Desert Rose” by Sting.